A shout out to a friend who's just started reading my blog.. welcome! Yes like many others this is where I put pen to paper, so to speak. And I think today I'm going to talk about women.
Women are so different from men, aren't they? Women are more sensitive, more in tune with emotions whether it's their own or other people's. The desire to fulfill others' happiness very often is what drives them and gives them a sense of purpose in life. Which is why most women make great mums, sacrificing themselves for their family. Alas this trait can also be their downfall.
In the eternal quest to make others happy, some women forget about themselves. They allow themselves to be plundered to the point where there is nothing left of them. Their being is void of their soul, just a hollow empty shell like an abandoned warehouse. They start walking the very thin line between reality and insanity. And sometimes they trip and fall over into the other side..
Don't be ashamed to cry out for help. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. You're only human, not Superwoman. You're not meant to carry all the burden of the world on your small shoulders. And especially to those who are experiencing domestic violence:
SPEAK UP!! WE CAN'T HEAR YOU!!
Saturday 23 June 2012
Saturday 2 June 2012
Hello, world..
Wow! Where has the time gone? It's been a month since my last post. How is everyone? Hope all is well. As for me, life has been pretty hectic. Husband is busy with work, long hours seven days a week. So I'm left to do everything on my own. Exhausting. I salute working single mothers, I really don't know how they cope physically and mentally. If I were a single mother working fulltime and suffering from mental illness, I would surely have said goodbye to it all. It really takes a lot of strength to do it and I have nothing but admiration for those that do it day by day.
Another story to tell - I know, you're probably thinking, oh God not another one! I've been sharing this story with a lot of people, because I feel there is so much to learn from it. She's a college buddy of mine, and we were part of a small group of close-knit friends. But she kept a secret from us, so well that we didn't know of it until she finally told us a year after the fact. She'd eloped and married someone she thought was the perfect man for her. If I remember correctly she told us about it because it was eating her up as even her family didn't know about it. After a lot of discussion she finally gained the strength to tell her immediate family. As expected, the news was met with a mix of disbelief and despair. We were still in college and all our parents were fearful that any kind of personal relationship would jeopardise our studies. But thankfully we proved them wrong and graduated with honours.
Upon completion of our studies, we were due to fly home and serve our country as graduate teachers. And so our friend took her husband with her, enrolling him into a local university to gain entry into the country. It wasn't long before he disappeared off the radar. She, her brother and a male cousin spent nearly two years tracking him down, while all the time my father and I were advising her to file for divorce but she flatly refused. She thought that that meant she had given up on him and she wasn't prepared to surrender. Needless to say, they eventually found him but not under happy circumstances and they finally divorced.
Was she a single mother then? No. She didn't have any children then. But a few years later she met and married another man with whom she had two beautiful boys. She was so happy, she felt she'd finally found her soulmate who was a wonderful husband and father. On one of my trips home, I met him for the first time when they came to send me off at the airport. It was such a brief and emotional moment: we hadn't seen each other in more than ten years although we'd kept in touch by phone. When I saw her we ran into each other's arms and just sobbed. We couldn't find the words, only the tears spoke. Her husband could only stand back and watch in amazement.
Life can be so cruel sometimes. That proved to be the first and last time that I met her husband. A couple of years later we had another phone conversation. Again only the tears spoke but not of happiness this time, they were of utter grief and despair. Her husband had died of lung cancer just one week after being diagnosed. Her sons at the time were still so young, the second still too young to even know what was happening. You know the old cliche, my heart goes out to you? Well, it actually felt that way. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and I desperately wanted to give it to her if it would help her feel better. But of course she was inconsolable. And I felt completely helpless.
Over time her pain healed and she lived the life of a single working mother. It's been more than five years since he passed on. She obviously still thought of her late husband but probably with less grief. Could life be anymore cruel to her? Of course it could!
You're probably thinking now, what else could possibly happen to her? A double whammy. A few months ago her father died of lung cancer too. And she spent nearly a year juggling her work, kids and visiting her father in hospital every evening. Again she didn't tell us about it, she felt that it wasn't necessary. We only knew just a couple of months before he passed away. I don't think she had time to live her own life, she gave everything she had to her family. My heart aches as I write this and I'm thinking of her. It's been a very long time since we saw each other, and I'm truly hoping and praying that I'll see her when I fly home in the summer. For me, I feel that seeing her would finally bring all the events together and I can put them to rest, because I couldn't be there for her physically during all the difficult times and it just feels like a link is missing. I just hope that it would be the same for her and she'll be able to move forward.
Another story to tell - I know, you're probably thinking, oh God not another one! I've been sharing this story with a lot of people, because I feel there is so much to learn from it. She's a college buddy of mine, and we were part of a small group of close-knit friends. But she kept a secret from us, so well that we didn't know of it until she finally told us a year after the fact. She'd eloped and married someone she thought was the perfect man for her. If I remember correctly she told us about it because it was eating her up as even her family didn't know about it. After a lot of discussion she finally gained the strength to tell her immediate family. As expected, the news was met with a mix of disbelief and despair. We were still in college and all our parents were fearful that any kind of personal relationship would jeopardise our studies. But thankfully we proved them wrong and graduated with honours.
Upon completion of our studies, we were due to fly home and serve our country as graduate teachers. And so our friend took her husband with her, enrolling him into a local university to gain entry into the country. It wasn't long before he disappeared off the radar. She, her brother and a male cousin spent nearly two years tracking him down, while all the time my father and I were advising her to file for divorce but she flatly refused. She thought that that meant she had given up on him and she wasn't prepared to surrender. Needless to say, they eventually found him but not under happy circumstances and they finally divorced.
Was she a single mother then? No. She didn't have any children then. But a few years later she met and married another man with whom she had two beautiful boys. She was so happy, she felt she'd finally found her soulmate who was a wonderful husband and father. On one of my trips home, I met him for the first time when they came to send me off at the airport. It was such a brief and emotional moment: we hadn't seen each other in more than ten years although we'd kept in touch by phone. When I saw her we ran into each other's arms and just sobbed. We couldn't find the words, only the tears spoke. Her husband could only stand back and watch in amazement.
Life can be so cruel sometimes. That proved to be the first and last time that I met her husband. A couple of years later we had another phone conversation. Again only the tears spoke but not of happiness this time, they were of utter grief and despair. Her husband had died of lung cancer just one week after being diagnosed. Her sons at the time were still so young, the second still too young to even know what was happening. You know the old cliche, my heart goes out to you? Well, it actually felt that way. I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest and I desperately wanted to give it to her if it would help her feel better. But of course she was inconsolable. And I felt completely helpless.
Over time her pain healed and she lived the life of a single working mother. It's been more than five years since he passed on. She obviously still thought of her late husband but probably with less grief. Could life be anymore cruel to her? Of course it could!
You're probably thinking now, what else could possibly happen to her? A double whammy. A few months ago her father died of lung cancer too. And she spent nearly a year juggling her work, kids and visiting her father in hospital every evening. Again she didn't tell us about it, she felt that it wasn't necessary. We only knew just a couple of months before he passed away. I don't think she had time to live her own life, she gave everything she had to her family. My heart aches as I write this and I'm thinking of her. It's been a very long time since we saw each other, and I'm truly hoping and praying that I'll see her when I fly home in the summer. For me, I feel that seeing her would finally bring all the events together and I can put them to rest, because I couldn't be there for her physically during all the difficult times and it just feels like a link is missing. I just hope that it would be the same for her and she'll be able to move forward.
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